Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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