Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -12

mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops