Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

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An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

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WHATS A SHIT HOLE MOUNTNORRIS !!!!!!!!!!

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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why was the black man on the bus? cause he needed to get to work

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your momas so stupid she s going back to school to become a responsible adult

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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