Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

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What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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There's a black guy in a mansion. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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