Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So a bar walks into a man...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did jacob say to coach a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops