what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

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how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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Your adopted

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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