Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

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how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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Man U

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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