Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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i committed murder

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

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what is the difference between me and a grown black man.... i went to school

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

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Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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Yo momma is so fat, her total body volume is slightly larger than a normally proportioned person of smaller mass!

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What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

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What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

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What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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