A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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What is white and black and red all over.

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops