Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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