What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, We're doing it backwards, That's what she said.

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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Why did the blonde walk into the men's restroom? Because the blonde was a man who needed to expel his feculent waste.

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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Q:What did the Hulk say before the bartender refused to serve him further drinks? A: HULK SMASHED! Moral: "THE MORE DRUNK THE HULK GETS! BLURRIER HIS VISION BECOMES! HULK IS THE BLURRIEST THERE IS!"

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My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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