Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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One time i was sitting down

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops