A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

HEY YOU! TISSUE!

Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

Yo mama is so hairy! Then only language she speaks is Chinese

What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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