If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops