How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Read a Book.

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

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Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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How does Steven Hawkings refresh after a long day of work? F5

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops