Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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