Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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If your reading this you will realize that this sentence means nothing and I have just taken 5 seconds of your life that you'll never get back.

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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Cripples are lame.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

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IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender in five states.

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops