what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Give her a time-out. Throwing sharp objects is not okay.

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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