What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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the sky is green no it is not

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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