Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

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An man walks to a bra

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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