What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

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Maths.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

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What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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What's beneath Chuck Norris's beard? A chin I presume, as that is what most humans have under their beards. Chuck Norris is a human and therefore is likely to have a chin. This is all based on the assumption that he is a human, because of the many characteristics he has shown that are humanlike.

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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