What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

all these jokes are horrible now

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

thumb_up thumb_down +5

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops