Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

what do you call a black guy african american

What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...