What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Then none of us want to be right.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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