Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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