Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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Double-whammy

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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