1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Why did the guy get glasses? So he could get his dick into the vagina.

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

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A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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What is worse than being unemployed? Terminal Cancer

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops