Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

24

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Today i saw 2 midgets walking.........now there hanging together.....in a tree.....by there necks,,,,...............I f***n hate midgets

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops