we asked cheryl cole what she would do if it was the last day on earth she replied.. id probably spend all the time with my family. wrong cheryl youd spend your last day on earth running away from other people wanting to accomplish their last day on earth dreams

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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Why did the fisherman go to Alaska? The commercial fishing business is strong there and it was a sound financial decision.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Someone else's cheese.

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Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

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penis?

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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Michael Brown

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A grandma says come on twinkies and the teinkies say were terriosts from your lost hole

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

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chuck norris was bit by a snake, a few hours later he died

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Why did the girl start crying? Her pet sunflower had just died.

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It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops