What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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