One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Knock knock. Its open.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops