Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

your mom's stupid face is a dumb butthead. I hate you.

What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely white man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. She didn't. She's still in the kitchen because I beat her if she's not cooking or cleaning.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...