What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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why was the stone green? I dont know thats why im asking -_-

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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women's rights.

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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