mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +9

chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do u say hi to a black person JUST SAY HI RACIST

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops