One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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Why did the black woman have an affair? Because she had an unsatisfying sex life, her old husband was boring, and she was curious about being with other men.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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