If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops