1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Sex! Sex Who? Sex with me. BOOM!

Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

How did the black man cross the Atlantic? An airplane. He also could have used a boat. However, airplanes are a preferred form of travel.

What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...