Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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These Jokes suck.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

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What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

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that wall over there ->

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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