why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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A homosexual and a heterosexual bump into each other on the street. But its okay, because although they both lead very different lifestyles, they are open minded enough to respect each others choices and both apologize and keep walking.

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I am hot he is not can you beleive it I got shot

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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Why did Jimmy fall of his tractor? Because Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs...Why doesn't Jimmy have any arms and legs? Cause Jimmy is a potato.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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