What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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What happens if you jump on barbed wire, but break your fall? You hurt your arm as well.

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Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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