What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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alert("Hello");

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A young baby died.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Why was the boy laughing? Because

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Q: Whats red and circular? A: A red circle

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops