Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Dude man, I'm high...

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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