What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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a man paints himself yello shrinks himself and walks into a baber shop then he relizes that the sizers are yello so he gets cut up into shreds and dies. THE END!

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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Holocaust jokes suck. Anne frankley, I won't stand for them

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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Please don't shoot me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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