How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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