all your base are belong to mark

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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