Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops