I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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Penis

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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