yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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Female rights.

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

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A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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What is older than history?

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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