roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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Justin's life

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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A man walks into a bar, ouch!

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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