what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

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Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops