Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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So a man is in a car smoking weed when he forgets to crack a window so he over doses and dies. The car crashes and he kills 3 other people.

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

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Knock, knock. Whose there? A Mountain Lion wait...what

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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one morning i turned on my tv

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops