How did the fat guy servive the plane crash??????? He bounced

How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

a man checks his mypsace

A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

69

Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

Why did priences Dian cross the street? Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!!

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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