Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

deez nuts

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops