What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

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What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

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What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

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Roses are red grass is green get on th bed and I'll fill you wilpth my cream ;)

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What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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women's rights

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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Want to hear an anti joke? Me too thats why Im on this site.

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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