A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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