Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

Chick Norris... Enough said

Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

Q: are you gay? A: maybe

Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

What is white and long? A New York winter

roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

yolo your orange looks orange

Can anyone Lenin money?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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