Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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Penis

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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