What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do i refer too White people = Business Yellow People = Smart Black People = Drug Smugglers, Terrorists, Rapists etc

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the one Lame say to the other Lame? I don't know, what did you say?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the difference between and black guy and a bench? a bench can supoort a family

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why didnt little timmy finish his test he was eaten by a muslim rhino... .

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops